We Interrupt This Marriage to Bring You Football Season...

It's football time in Tennessee. Which means that from now until February, my husband will not only not hear anything I say, he will suspend all logic and reason to the point of believing that the players on our television screen can hear his encouragement, expletives and instructions. My husband is an extremely intelligent, very highly educated, intellectual. He carefully considers his thoughts and chooses his words wisely. He is constantly re-examining the reasons for his convictions and beliefs... except during football season.
The game begins and the Laws of Nature no longer apply. He will watch the first few minutes in reverent silence. Someone will fumble a play or whatever it is that they do, and Adrian will screw up his face and say (to no one), "Jesus H. Christ!" Then, he will settle back in his chair and the silence resumes... until the second mistake.
When the team fumbles again, all the more if it is the same player, he proceeds to (I can't tell if he flies or is catapulted.) leave his chair, moving at a high rate of speed (something akin to a speeding bullet) toward the television. In mid-flight, he manages to recite every four-letter word in every language he knows, several of which even the saltiest sailor would never even think. This continues until halftime.
At this point he proceeds to tell me exactly why we aren't as good as we could be and explain what we should do and how we should play differently. When gameplay resumes, he repeats, ver batim, to the players on our television screen exactly what he told me. When they ignore him (I would say they couldn't hear him, but he would refute that rediculous claim.), he says something like, "I just freaking told you what you needed to do!" That is, if it is college football. If they are National Football League players, he often adds, "You guys are f***ing professionals!" This continues until the Super Bowl. I usually find 'a thing' to do in Memphis that weekend. From early February until late August, his senses seem to function normally.